MARDİN - Felek Tanırgan who was forced to leave her hometown at gunpoint, managed to get the murderer or her daughter arrested as a result of a 5-year struggle. Tanırgan who underlined that she never surrendered to hopelessness, told what she had gone through was the price of freedom.

 

62-year-old Felek Tanırgan describes her life as an ordeal that involved state oppression, displacement, detentions and arrests, told that she never submitted to oppression and struggled for justice all her life. Her story is the story of all Kurdish women. Therefore its familiar.

 

Tanırgan who had to migrate as a result of state oppression from Mardin in 1986 with her family, settled in the Kızıltepe district of Mardin. Tanırgan who had one child before she had to migrate, had 5 more children in Kızıltepe.

 

A LIFE IN BETWEEN PRISONS

 

Felek's husband Cuma Tanırgan, who is now 65 years old, was arrested in 1993. Tanırgan family who wanted to go back to their village was hindered by the guards everytime they tried. While her husband was released a year later, Felek herself was arrested in 1999 with the accusation of 'being a member of a terrorist organisation'. Right after her release 3 months later, her husband was arrested again with a sentence of life imprisonment. Cuma Tanırgan who is imprisoned for the last 23 years, is listed as an ill prisoner.

 

FELEK ARRESTED WITH HER TWO CHILDREN 

 

Felek, who was arrested in 2000 while her husband was in prison, had to bring her two children to grow up in prison because she had no one else to take care of them while she was in prison. Her other 5 children, the oldest of whom was 12 and the youngest 7, was left alone to raise themselves with both parents in prison. Her oldest daughter had to visit her father one day and her mother the next day. Felek had to work in factories, she worked as an agricultural worker and a house maid to take care of her children. 

 

HER DAUGHTER WAS KILLED BY UNKNOWN ASSAILANTS 

 

Her worst days were ahead despite the ordeal she went through. Her daughter Leyla who was about to get married was killed by unknown assailants a day before her wedding. Felek who moved to İstanbul at that time, went back to Kızıltepe to find her daughter's killer. As she returned to Kızıltepe, Felek was arrested again while she was visiting her husband in prison. Right after her release, her other daughter was arrested while she was visiting her father in prison and sentenced to 10 years and 6 months in prison.

 

SHE TRACED THE KILLER FOR 5 YEARS  

 

While taking care of her children, Felek fought for justice for her husband and daughter and traced the killer of her daughter who was killed one day ahead of her wedding. Following a 5-year search, Felek learned that her daughter was killed by her uncle who was later sentenced to life imprisonment as a result of Felek's efforts.

 

Felek who started working as a cleaning personnel in Kızıltepe Municipality, was fired by the trustee that replaced the elected mayor.

 

'I NEVER SURRENDERED'

 

Tanırgan said: "I fought hard to find the killers of Leyla and to hold them to account. I was alive but I wasn't the old me. Everything was too hard. I was hurt beyond recognition. I lost myself. I finally started to be able to think about taking care of my other children. Leyla was gone. I had 6 more children. I fought hard to get myself together and I did. I was either going to die with that pain or stand up with it. I did not surrender to the pain no matter how hurt I was. I fought back. I fought back with my children."

 

HER UNCLE WAS HER KILLER 

 

Felek who was in the same prison as her husband in 2009 said: "My children was in İstanbul. Leyla was murdered very recently. I resisted. I went to İstanbul when I was released. I took my children and returned to Kızıltepe. Because they have killed me. I fought hard when I went back to my hometown. I decided I would not sleep until I found the killer of my daughter. Later it turned out that her uncle killed Leyla. He was denying it but his statements was contradictory. He was sentenced to life imprisonment. The judge asked if I had anything to say. I said, 'Leyla came with a henna in her hand, she was young and in a sweet sleep. There were hours left for her to wear her wedding dress, but I dressed it in a coffin and put it under the ground. Is there a penalty for this?' They arrested him, although that gave me some consolation, it could not relieve my pain.”

 

Describing her husband, herself and her daughter being arrested and imprisoned as "the price for freedom", Felek said, "I do not regret the pain I have suffered, nor the fight I have fought. I am a Kurdish woman. I have fought. They say; “Women will be free.” A woman becomes free through struggle, labor and cost. Despite all the pain, I am resisting. I also have pleasant days with my children. I'm standing straight. I just can't get over Leyla's pain. Now I have grandchildren. I named 3 of my grandchildren Leyla. In them, I find her scent.”

 

FIGHT FOR FREEDOM

 

Stating that PKK Leader Abdullah Öcalan was brought to Turkey with an international conspiracy in 1999 when her husband was arrested Felek continued: "They did not need a crime to arrest a person back then, as is now. Being a Kurd was enough for us to be punished. My husband was in prison. As a woman, I struggled in every way and made myself accepted in society. I can stand on my two feet. I can live my life. When they took my husband from Mardin to İzmir Aliağa Prison, he had angioedema. He had a gastric bleeding 2 years before that. He is 65 years old and old now. We haven't seen him since the pandemic. He calls us on the phone every week. Now the contact visits have started, but we cannot go visit him because it is too far away. On the phone, he says he's fine so we don't get upset even though he's not.

 

When I look at my life since now, I think I put up a good fight. Maybe I was not enough for my children economically, but I did not feed them with enmity, grudge and hatred. I did not want to lose another person, so I did not allow them to be hostile to anyone. Today, I want this persecution to end and the gates of prisons to be opened. I want peace in our country. Let everyone express themselves in their own land, in their mother tongue, in their own identity. Do not deny anyone. Everyone should live the way they want in their own culture. No one should live as a prisoner on their own homeland. People should be free. We always said, 'When our lands are free, life will be beautiful'. We expressed this for our children to understand. Now they have their own children. Now we want their children to live a good life. They should not pay any more prices for freedom. The mothers shall not shed tears anymore."

 

MA/ Ahmet Kanbal